Transformers

Less Than Meets the Eye (and other cliches)
Lucas has been excited to see the new Transformers movie for months. He had plans to go with his friend Alex, and to save money I had planned not to go with them. But the opening day changed (or they did a preview or something) and Alex had to work last night. So Luke and I both went. Sometimes you have to use the credit card. (At least we walked about three miles to the theater and three miles back instead of taking a cab.)

Reviews of the movie have been mixed so far, which doesn't surprise me.

(potential spoiler alert)
I had low expectations, so I wasn't disappointed but I wasn't surprised either. My brother had Transformers toys. At one birthday party, that's all he got -- six or seven toys from all the partygoers. I had one Transformer. We didn't stick too closely to the "girls' toys" and "boys toys" separation -- I had a big cheap plastic dump truck and a small red Transformers sports car. But I was pretty girly -- more interested in my Strawberry Shortcakes than in my lone Transformer. Lucas was very into Transformers, and he kind of regrets selling his at a yard sale before one of his family's many moves. A few years ago, he decided he wanted to remake the Transformers movie. Two weeks later, it was announced that this was in production. I wish Luke had gotten the chance to make his own version. It would have had the subtlety that this is conspicuously lacking.

This is a huge summer blockbuster movie, so maybe it's unfair to judge it as "art". It's not art. It's a big conglomerate of commercial crap tacked together into something vaguely resembling a story. It was fun though -- I got caught up in it. One thing they did right was the casting of the main characters (and it seems weird to even say the director did this right -- the movie's so huge I doubt that the director had that much to do with little things like the actors). The two main characters, Sam and Mikaela, played by Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox, were pretty great throughout. LaBeouf is funny and likable and believable, Fox is incredibly gorgeous and sometimes funny and kind of kick-ass. They remind me, in retrospect, of Ferris Bueller and his girlfriend Sloane. Sam has a nice relationship with his parents, who are really funny and a bit underused. (One exciting sidenote is that the mother will be in the TV series Cavemen.) Then there's a whole pack of bad-actor soldiers, a pointless hot Australian genius, and Anthony Anderson (basically reprising his role in Me, Myself, and Irene). And all these military people, with Jon Voight and John Turturro at the forefront. This is besides the supposed stars of the movie: the Transformers themselves. It's too much.

The Transformers themselves are cool. I didn't really get who they were and what they were doing in a lot of the massive action scenes, but Optimus Prime is a worthy leader and I felt real affection for Bumblebee (Sam's first car). The bad guy Decepticons are confusing -- they're never properly introduced, so they just blend into a big mass of moving metal when they come out fighting. The Autobots can be funny too, especially when they try to "act natural" and not attract the attention of Sam's parents. I also love the way Bumblebee "talks" through the songs on his radio.

There are so many little inconsistencies and stereotypes and examples of bad judgment that it would be boring to list them all here. People came out of the previous showing raving about how awesome the movie was. People online seem enthusiastic so far. A lot of reviewers are being too kind. I just don't see why it's too much to ask an action movie to have a decent story. I know it's possible (the Pirates movies do a better job with this, although they're definitely not perfect). If the big studios spent just a little bit more of their budgets on good writers instead of all the special effects, we might get a movie that plays on and elicits real human emotions (like E.T. maybe) and gives us something to think about.

Instead, we get more and more of Michael Bay's overwrought fight scenes, more product placement (which is so obvious it's funny in this one). Lucas and I came out of the theater feeling fairly good about this movie -- after all, it wasn't as terrible as it could have been if it focused more on the stereotyped bad actor soldiers -- but the more we talked about it the more we saw ways it could have been great and wasn't. It is worth seeing (think twice about taking kids, though -- there's a masturbation conversation that lacks the subtlety it could have had in order to work with all audiences. [That sounds worse than it is. The mother says, "Were you maturbating?" when her son won't open his bedroom door right away. The ensuing conversation is funny, but might lead to some uncomfortable questions from small, uninformed children. So be forewarned]). It's worth seeing because of the good cast members and, I guess, because of the special effects -- the transforming is sometimes impressive. But if I had to pick one movie to see this summer (and essentially I have), it wouldn't be this one.