Sister Wives, Season 1 (and Season 2, Episode 1)

I watch very few TV shows that don't involve specific goals (usually competitions that facilitate people making or doing stuff) and I'm picky about those. But I managed to get hooked on TLC's Sister Wives this fall. It was informative (although I'd like to see more focus on the history of polygamy) and showed me a lifestyle with which I had no previous experience. Plus, TLC is good at making everything look bright and shiny and fun, and it's hard not to be drawn to that. I've also watched a few episodes of other TLC family shows like Jon & Kate Plus 8 (back when they were still married) and Little People, Big World.

I hadn't thought I cared enough to write about Sister Wives until a friend echoed an opinion shared by others that the stars must be terrible parents, based on their willingness to so publicly break the law and involve their children in the show. I actually think that the opposite is true, and the more I think about it, the more interesting their decision seems to me.

Yes, all parents who involve their children in reality TV shows are risking exploiting them and causing psychological or emotional damage. Yes, childhood and adolescence is hard enough, and any time cameras are introduced into a family situation, that situation is changed. Yes, whenever money changes hands in exchange for documenting a family's life together, there's new pressure on everyone involved. But I think the adults in this situation did consider that carefully, especially as they were intentionally complicating the family dynamic by introducing a fourth wife (with her own kids) during the course of Season One. Of course, their situation is also complicated by the fact that polygamy is illegal, and they face criminal prosecution as a result of their decision to go public.

They made the careful decision to "come out" as a polygamist family FOR their kids. As Robyn said in the first episode of Season Two, "Yes, we're taking a risk, but I believe it's going to be worth it in the long run." Some of the wives had grown up "hiding" in polygamous families, and they decided that the best thing they could do for their own kids as well as other polygamous families was to go on TV and show what a normal, high-functioning family they are. As Meri said, "I think that what we're doing is a good thing. Because we're a solid family, and we wanted to show that in this lifestyle, you can have a solid family and a good family" (S2, Ep1). Robyn also spoke of wanting to show that not all polygamist families include child brides, or abuse their children.

I'd rather see the Sister Wives family on an A&E show, because I think it would be presented in a more academic way, and I'd learn more from it. However, I think that the decision to have the show on TLC was a good one. The family is likely to reach more viewers and change more minds with this show on this channel. It's a lot of pressure on them, because for many of us, this is the only polygamist family we "know", and until we meet others, the Brown family will represent all polygamist families for us. Hopefully they'll be able to hold up under the pressure and maintain as much of their normal lifestyle as possible.

So far, the main problem with Sister Wives as a television show is that being polygamous is really the only unusual thing about this family. That's why it works so well as a political statement, but it doesn't exactly make for interesting television. Kody comes off as kind of dopey, but the kids seem really nice (even the teenagers), and having multiple moms in the household seems to work well for everyone. Season Two will likely be more interesting because of the criminal investigation (Episode One featured a trip to New York to be on the Today show, and then paparazzi on the front lawn of one of the houses).

So, are the Sister Wives parents bad parents? No, I don't think so. They're reluctant activists. I don't think they're doing this primarily for money or fame, but to change the way people think about their lifestyle. In his "Letter from a Birmingham Jail", Martin Luther King, Jr. said "One has not only a legal but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws." King goes on to say, "A just law is a man made code that squares with the moral law or the law of God. An unjust law is a code that is out of harmony with the moral law." In S2, Ep1, Kody says "[I] never did this out of any disrespect for the law," and I believe him. The law against living in a plural household is out of harmony with the Browns' faith, and therefore they feel a responsibility to challenge that law, and to encourage others to be open about challenging it. "[T]o be transparent...makes us more safe. We're hoping other polygamists will follow our example and open their lives up to become an open community instead of a closed community" (Kody Brown, S2 Ep1). They are risking a lot to challenge injustice, and in doing so, they're creating reality television that may not always be riveting, but could be the most important show that TLC has ever aired.