PGN

I was interviewed for a Halloween costumes article today by a reporter from our local gay newspaper. I was walking down my street, eating an apple, and a gray-haired guy on a bike stopped and asked if I'd be interested in commenting on best Halloween costume ideas. I hesitated, and he said he could give me some suggestions.

"Do you like Lady Gaga?"
"Um...she's okay."
"Well, someone suggested wrapping up in bubble wrap and carrying a microphone, and apparently she has big lips."
"Huh."

I described one of my brother's costumes -- he painted an eyeball on a pillowcase, with red lines for the veins and little eye holes for his eyes.

"So it was bloodshot because he was supposed to be drunk?"
"No, he was a little kid. He was just an eyeball. You know, like in a haunted house where they have the bowl of eyeballs?"
"Huh. Simple -- I like it. Most of our costume suggestions have been...racier, but that might be a good change of pace."
"It was comfortable. I go for comfort."
He wrote that down.
"And we grew up in Maine, so we always had to accommodate the winter coats."
"He put a winter coat on over the eyeball?"
"No, under."
"Oh, under. Because it's colder there."
"Yeah."

He took several pictures of me in different spots on the sidewalk, trying to eliminate a white van in the background without creating weird shadows from the sun. My hair was still wet from the shower.

"Where do you live?" he said.
"Back there about a block."
"What neighborhood is this? Bella Vista?"
"Not really -- that's past South Street."
"Society Hill? I'll put Society Hill."

He wrote down my name and occupation, and then he thanked me and got on his bike.

"One idea is to dress up in a pink sweatsuit, like a pig, you know? And say you're Rush Limbaugh."
"Good one."
We went our separate ways. Or, we went the same way but he went faster because he was on his bike. I look forward to the day when someone will discover me because of my excellent costume idea in PGN.